The Comfort Zone Paradox

I often hear how scary it is outside your comfort zone - and sure that’s 100% true.. But what else does it feel like?  For me it can sometimes feel glamorous, like I’m living up to my potential, and before vulnerability sets in, that putting myself out there will instantly make me successful. 

But the real discomfort? It’s icky.. Because when that vulnerability sets in (it always does!) I begin to question my insistence that putting myself out there = success.  This paradox of life outside your comfort zone can be a rollercoaster.  But it’s also important to understand if you are planning on stepping outside of yours. 

Just because fear isn’t your dominant emotion, it doesn’t mean you aren’t putting yourself out there. Personal growth has been glamorized in the past few years (how cool is it that it’s no longer taboo?) but we can be quick to compare our experience to the stories we hear. 

This just shows that how you experience life outside of your comfort zone (aka your emotions) depends so much on your mindset. What do you believe about yourself? Your comfort zone? What should it feel like? 

The beauty of the comfort zone is that it’s a place that feels safe for you.  How amazing is it that you have that resources to support you? As a perfectionist you might find that you put a lot of pressure on yourself to be outside your comfort zone.. Because you know the perfectionist mindset is holding you back. But what if the uncomfortable thing to do is ease off on that pressure?  

Are you still with me? My point is that you need to define the experience for yourself. You need to identify what’s holding you back, your capacity for discomfort and where the line is.  Lean into the excitement, the glamour - but be kind to yourself when the vulnerability sets in, because it always does eventually. Know that vulnerability isn’t a sign that you shouldn’t continue, just that you need some more support.

Or maybe you just need to take a breather and pop back into your comfort zone for a bit. Without shame. Without stories about what that means about you. 

So perfectionists: be careful.  So much good happens outside of your comfort zone ~ that’s where growth lives and you thrive.  But watch out for the expectations you put on yourself, be honest about your experience, and give yourself the support you deserve. 

And just know that sometimes these paradoxes are the blinders you don’t have control over - usually with lots of hindsight you will see them, but in the moment you often have blindspots and that’s normal. You might just need someone to point them out.